The Corinth Guide to Self-Loving

Valentine's day is upon us. The official day of love. In my opinion Valentine’s is the second most commercialized holiday after Christmas and the number one holiday that can leave you feeling depressed. (seconded closely by New Year’s Eve) But i still can't help getting caught up in a little loving...

Sick of the popular definition of love - you know, about it being all about butterfly-related feelings, roses and chocolate, and of course sex. I decided to look at it from a different angle...

Love your neighbor as you love yourself. That’s the commandment. Where your neighbor means everybody from your actual neighbor, to the entire world.. And it’s also been said.. Without love we are nothing. So apparently, this loving people thing is a big deal. But you can’t love other people before you've learnt to love yourself, right?

So, here presenting the Corinth approach to love - self loving that is..

According to a certain Paul; love is an action not an emotion and it encompasses attitude and behavior. So, love is expressed by our actions, attitudes, and behaviors. All of which translates into our 4 steps to self loving:

1.      Be unselfish
      That might sound a bit strange since this is an article on learning to love your self. But it’s the foundation of it all. Being self pitying, self absorbed, and narcissistic doesn't benefit you as an individual or anyone else around you.Instead aim for  patience and kindness – first and foremost with yourself. Loving yourself means understanding you have limitations, withholding harsh and harmful self talk, and embracing that which heals you instead.Then aim to learn how to be content with what you have currently – achievements, possessions, relationships; but while also having the ability to aim higher in life – taking the time to understand what really makes you happy, and striving towards that. (hint; no it’s not the acquisition of more possessions)And lastly practice humility. Understanding that your life is a gift over which you do not have actual absolute control is humbling. No need to be boastful, proud, or arrogant. Humility is easier on your soul and it’s easier on those around you too. Also it’s incredibly attractive.

2.      Forgive

You and I are only human. It’s in our nature to screw up a lot! Regardless of how cautiously we live our lives, at one point or another we’re going to screw up. Whether it’s coming home too exhausted to wash the make up off your face, having a glass of wine too many and making out with the guy you hate from work, trying but failing to pass that exam, or over spending yet again this month! Whatever your shortcomings, you have to learn to forgive yourself and then strive to move forward without letting the guilt consume you. Otherwise then it becomes a cycle; You screw up, you get consumed by the guilt, you feel like a failure who never gets anything right, then you screw up again.
Forgive yourself. Know that your mistakes do not define you. Instead focus on your strengths.

3.      Be authentic

Seek truth in your life and just be real with yourself. Have values. Know your values. Practice your values. Just do you. Don’t seek popular culture and trends if they are not in line with your values. Trends are just passing waves that are likely to leave you drenched and overwhelmed with nothing tangible in your hands. Be true to yourself. Know who you are and know it’s enough.

4.      Always believe in you

Doubt is the worst thing you can ever do to yourself. Do not allow it. Believe in yourself; whatever it is, you can achieve it. Be your biggest fan and loudest cheerleader. 

 “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1Cor13:7-8)

And that’s our Corinth guide to self love. 4 simple habits. It’s a never ending journey of course but if you practice these with yourself, it’s easier to practice them with those around you, especially those you love the most. 

Happy Valentine's Day, girls! Go show somebody some love...